I am realizing that I’m not invincible.

For quite a bit of this pregnancy (since after the morning sickness phase passed), I have been feeling very well, better than even my pre-pregnancy state. But now things are changing. I am much more tired, MUCH more weepy and emotional, and have general aches and pains, specifically in my lower back/pelvis/hips, and of course the wonderful round ligament pain. But I hadn’t really slowed down all that much, I was still trying to do everything that I normally do – work full time, keep up on housework, cooking, etc, and maintain a pretty active social life. I would have days of course where I’d just be exhausted and not able to do these things, but I would see them as the exception rather than the norm.

This morning, I realized that it is OK to slow down, and probably even necessary at this point. My body is doing a TON of work growing this baby and preparing for having and sustaining the kid once s/he arrives, and even though I had never really thought about all the changes it is going through, this is really a whole body experience. Before being pregnant, I just kinda thought “Yeah, my belly will get big and that’s what pregnancy will be like for this body.” But oh no, there’s a LOT more to it than that.

This morning I was reading an email update “27 weeks” from babycentre.com, and I noticed a couple references to an article on “ways to make things easier for yourself at this stage”. One suggestion was to have paper plates, etc. to use on days you just don’t have energy for dishes. Something clicked, and I realized that it’s OK that I haven’t done my dishes in over a week (thank goodness for a dishwasher to clean the ones we eat off, but the pots/pans and cooking utensils are piled a mile high). And it’s OK if I decide to go to bed earlier instead of doing a bit more housework. And it’s ok if all I want to do is sit and cuddle with Anthony instead of facing the world. It’s ok if I’m feeling emotional and just need to have time to myself and feel sad for a bit instead of wondering what’s wrong with me and why I’m having a sad day when everything around me is objectively “fine”.

I’m glad I realized all this at this point, because I think realizing I need to step back and take care of myself before some of these other tasks/priorities in life will make these last 3 months go much better. So I’m going to take breaks when I need them, and let this body have some extra rest when it’s tired and achy. I’m going to choose not to feel bad about the pile of dirty dishes and the unswept floor. I’m going to surround myself with positive and supportive people who love me happy or sad, weepy or glad, and feel free to express the emotions I’m feeling, while still realizing that they are simply emotions (and hormone driven ones at that), and not a perfect indicator of how things are really going.