question
Right now, we are facing the need to make some tentative arrangements for Anthony's time off when baby comes, as he is actually going to be in school from Apr 30 to June 22 for his first year apprenticeship classes, so he needs his tentative holiday plans submitted before he goes to school so his boss knows what will happen when baby comes - which will probably be pretty soon after Anthony returns from his schooling (and hopefully not before he's done his classes, though we have no control over that, so if it happens, it happens).
We were thinking that he'd request a minimum of one week, but up to two weeks off depending on when baby arrived and when we are discharged...for example, if this kid shows up on a Wednesday, he'd take the rest of that week plus the full week after it off; whereas, if the kid shows up on a friday night, he'd probably just take the full week off (plus the 2 weekends = 10 days)... of course this would all be subject to change if there were any difficulties such as a c-section where i was in hosptial longer than anticipated, etc.
For those of you who have already had kids, how much time did your husband/partner take off when the baby came? Was it enough, or did you wish he was home for longer? How long were you in the hospital? I assume it was good to have him around for the first days at home....and also i'd imagine his sleep is quite disturbed for the first bit as well, so going right back into work might be hard for him.... ???
posted by LJE @ 2:23 PM
7 Comments:
Madeline was born at 3am on a Sunday morning and we went home Tuesday afternoon. Luke was born at 8pm on a Friday and we were home Sunday afternoon. So we had a full day more in the hospital with Madeline, but I think it's good to stay a bit longer with your first.
You want to make sure that you've got breastfeeding reasonably under control -- although when your milk comes in is when the real drama starts, with these amazingly large units on your chest overnight!! But, at least in PA, a public health nurse comes over the 2nd day you're home and then a few days later and then they do a follow up call. So, being home is actually good, b/c you don't have the nurses bothering you at all hours and you don't have the cries of other babies keeping you up.
As far as the husband staying home with you... it's going to be scary your first day at home alone no matter when he goes back to work. Two weeks is definitely lots. I'd say maybe one full week at home would be good (so if you're in the hospital 3 days, then the baby would be 10 days old). The hardest thing is getting into the bathtub to heal yourself up, which I had to do LOTS with Madeline. But once your body is healed up a bit, it gets easier. (I, on the other hand, have NO idea how long Marc should be home this time. I'm not worried about the baby -- I'm worried about looking after the other two kids!!!)
hey guys. Dont know if you remember me.. Nicole (Wiebe) Greack...amy's friend. Congrats on the baby. I just wanted to say that you should definatly have something worked out with Anthony's work.
When Taylor was born we didnt have a definate time period set out as to how long Garrett could stay home from work and what ended up happening is that Garrett was called back to work 2 days after we got home from the hospital and we were in the hospital for 2 days.
Anyways enjoy your little one.
I stayed in the hospital 2 nights both times. I was happy to stay the full time because I needed to be monitored and close to a doctor. But, I know some people just can't rest that well in the hospital and want to be in their own bed, so it's better for them to go home early. Also, the time you stay can seem longer or shorter depending on when you get to your post-partum room (ie. if you only get there in the night, that's your first night, and your time can seem short).
Greg took a week off both times, and then the second week, I had my family to help. So, it was nice not to be on my own until the third week.
You're right about it depending on the day of the week: my first was born on a Wednesday, home on Friday, and then I had Greg at home for a full week. My second was born on a Monday, so that was the week off (if I can remember correctly!).
And you're also right about it being hard for Anthony. I hate to tell you this (but you sound like you're on the right track already...), but Anthony will probably be recuperating himself, and won't be able to do everything around the house, so hopefully your family can help even when Anthony is home. At least it was a huge shock and adjustment for us after our first baby was born! After Christmas holidays, baby preparations, baby anticipation, witnessing labour & birth, intense emotional experiences getting to know & love your new baby, nights in the hospital, and newly interrupted sleep, Greg was nearly as tired as I was (though not in pain!). So, I don't know if every husband experiences this fatigue, but we did, so if you do, you're not alone!
I'm sure Anthony's holidays will work out great!
Maybe my experience is different because I had two c-sections. But I'd say get your husband to take as much time as he possibly can. You are both going to be more tired than you can imagine and the whole thing can be very overwhelming and he's going to want to spend as much time with the baby as he can, anyway. If you have family to help, make sure they are around when he goes back to work. Then it will seem less overwhelming. Although, dixie was right. No matter when it is, your first day home alone with the baby will probably be a bit scary. But you'll do fine.
I think you are on the right track for time off. I went into the hospital at noon on Thursday (even though Jared was born on Friday), so Ryan took half of Thursday and Friday off, plus the whole next week. It turned out that the next weekend was May long, so he ended up having the following Monday off, also. That was perfect. Obviously, I wanted him to stay home forever, but I was able to manage on my own easily after that length of time. And because Jared was in the NICU for two nights, we stayed in the hospital for three after he was born (four if you count the night before he was born). It was nice to have that time where a nurse was available to help me, as the mom. Ryan was totally capable of helping, but the nurse knew what I needed, when neither of us necessarily would have. And it was nice that we stayed the extra night with Jared rooming in, so that if we did have a problem, we could access help. And I think that Shannon was right when she made the comment about c-sections being different. The amount of things you are allowed to do is drastically reduced, I think, so you would probably need extra help for longer in that situation. Hopefully it doesn't come to that for you, but sometimes it is the best option.
I think that ultimately, how your delivery goes plays a huge part in how soon you feel able to be home alone. Bodies react differently to the whole situation, and each situation is different. Unfortunately, sometimes the amount of babies being born at the same time as yours may play a part in how long they will let you stay in the hospital. Just remember that even if Anthony has to go back to work earlier than you would like, or if you realize you need help, you have family and friends that would gladly come over to help! Even though I didn't end up needing that extra help, it was a huge sense of relief knowing that it was there for me! And I did make phone calls to my mom numerous times to ask questions! Nothing wrong with phoning someone for help, even if it's as simple as needing someone else to hold and walk with a colic-y baby while you go somewhere where you can't hear the crying!
I had Abbie on Thursday night, and I was home on Saturday morning. I was so glad to be at home - I found that none of us got any rest at the hospital. Kenton went back to work on Monday. To be honest, I don't think that the amount of time that Anthony is home is going to change how you feel when he has to go back. The first couple days home alone are hard, but I am sure you will have your family around a lot.
Because Kenton was working, and does a physically demanding job, I would always try to take care of Abbie in another room during the night. When she became colicky, Kenton slept downstairs during the week. He took care of her on the weekends to give me a break from the crying. You guys will decide what works best for you and do that.
When making plans, just remember that the baby can come any time. Abbie was 4 days early, and my sister was 2 weeks late with her second baby. They come when they want to! :)
- Jody
thanks everyone for the great advice and for sharing your experiences. We have now worked it out so that Anthony has up to two weeks off when the kid comes, but is also able to go back early if he chooses, so that flexibility is nice. I also called my mom, who has offered before to be around, and i asked her if they were planning to be at the cabin in July, she said "probably, but if you need us, just call and we'll be there" - and i know they will be, when my niece was born they were very generous with their time in going out to Calgary to help my sister and her husband settle in with Liv. And my mother-in-law said to me the other day "I'm not taking any specific holidays in June/July (for my kid and her daugter's kid's arrivals), but i have made arrangements with my boss that if either one of you needs me, you just let me know and i can be off the next day and over helping you"
So it sounds like we'll have a lot of options and flexibility for support and help in those first few weeks.
Post a Comment
<< Home