Baby Epp

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

leon

So we told Leon the news this weekend, he was good with it, said he had expected it to happen for a few months already.

A couple funny things in his reaction though..... first of all, he was like "so THAT's why you've been SOOOOO grumpy lately!" - i guess i have been pretty hormonally moody. He's used to my pms already, but this has been worse (and of course longer) than my usual pms. I'm less grumpy and more back to normal now, though.

He also said he was getting pretty worried about me, he thought i was depressed or something, 'cuz all i did was stay in bed and sleep, and pop pills all the time. That was cute and touching to me, that he was that worried for me.

His girlfriend's family has just started taking in foster babies, so he's been helping them a lot - putting bottles together, carrying diaper bags, etc., so at least he'll be well trained when this baby comes along. And end of June is a good time for this kid to come, as he'll be off school for summer and won't have to worry about a crying baby keeping him up at night when he needs his sleep for school. God's timing is good.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

lots of firsts (and lots more to come, i'm sure)

First hormonal cry:

Driving home, listening to lovely gentle Christmas music, thinking about our baby, and then I stop at a light and a funeral procession comes by..... INSTANT gushing of tears....

Friday, November 24, 2006

tummy pop #1

Well, as of the past few days, my tummy has officially popped out a bit. I can no longer suck it in and make it all flat. It just looks like a bit of extra pudge right now, which isn't actually all that bad - i thought it would bother me when i was in the 'looking chubby but not pregnant' stage, but so far, so good. I know there is much more of that to come , though. But probably by then we'll be telling people, so they'll know what the pudge is about.

Anthony took belly pics last week (at 8 weeks), i hope to do them every couple weeks, so when i get a chance, i'll post them so you can see the 'before' shots (as in before pop #1).

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

prenatal appointment 1

really, it seemed much more like a regular physical than anything else.

Good news is that all is well, right where it should be. Due date is officialy June 30, 2007, so my estimation was right on.

Next appointment, Dec. 22, Anthony is going to come, we should be able to hear a heartbeat at that one. Didn't try today, she said it was a bit early to hear it well.

And after that next appointment, the whole world can know! Very exciting....

Friday, November 17, 2006

God's gift to pregnant women

... or at least THIS pregnant woman:

Christmas oranges.

They make the BEST snack! Mmmmmmmmmmmm. I could eat hundreds of them.

I am going to be SO sad in January when they are not commonly available and inexepensive. I guess i'll just have to enjoy them while they last.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

irrational fear #1

so far, i have done pretty well with not worrying about all the 'what if's' that are possible in any pregnancy. This somewhat surprises me, since i'm generally a pretty big worrier, but i decided at the beginning that since God had given us this child, He would take care of things, and they'd work out in His way, whatever that may be. So i decided to just leave it to Him, and not worry about things that i have no control over.

(that's a HUGE step for me for those of you who know how much i like to have control over every detail of things).

Anyways, the one little niggling worry i've had the past few days is that when i go to my appointment next week, the dr. will be like "you're not pregnant, it's just ______" (fill in the blank with whatever condition it could be). I know that this is 99.9% UNLIKELY to happen, but i'd feel so silly if it did. We'd have to go to the people we'd already told, to 'retract' our news, it would just feel so dumb of us.

but yeah. if that's my only irrational fear so far, then i'm feeling pretty good.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

daddy

Anthony has been marvellous so far...i realized that i haven't mentioned him very much on here yet, so here's a couple stories involving him.

When i peed on the stick and the blue + showed up pretty much immediately, he was so excited and had a huge grin on his face, and he tried to give me a nice hug n kiss, but i felt so ick at the time i kinda just pushed him away and went back to bed....poor guy! He's been able to give me lots since then, though.

He got us a truly sweet gift a few days after the news....i came home from work feeling quite tired and so he brought me a snack on the couch and let me rest for a while, then he took me to the room, where our gift was sitting on the bed. It was a beautiful blue throw blanket with a christmas print on it, he says it's to keep the two of us (me n baby) warm during the winter. And he bought a book of baby names too, for us to go through. And he wrote a beautiful card to me. I've used the blanket a lot, as i seem to be colder than normal ... probably just the changing seasons. But i keep asking "when's the 'pregnant ladies are warmer than usual' going to kick in?"

And he gets this silly grin and sparkle in his eyes every time i say something like "we need a hug" or "aren't you going to tuck us in?". And every so often, he'll say "I'm going to be a daddy!" with this tone of awe and amazement.

I am so fortunate to be married to such a wonderful man, and to be bearing his child....his son, if what he (and I) think is correct....he says that's why he got a blue blanket. He has been truly wonderful to me and bubs so far (except when he steals my leftovers for his lunch... Grrrr!!). He's been helping around home more than he usually does, which is a HUGE relief given my complete lack of energy. I love you Anthony!

strange symptom

Warning: The below post is all about puking n stuff. Don't read any further if that bothers you.

so i know that one symptom of pregnancy is an excessive amount of saliva. I have a bit more than usual, but the time at which i notice it the most is when i have to throw up.

My recent intimate encounters with the toilet have been a result of my newly over-sensitive gag reflex which kicks in when I brush my teeth. Once I gag once, my stomach feels the need to empty itself of all its contents. But before that happens, my mouth starts to water uncontrollably....i'll be hanging over the pail or the toilet with saliva literally POURING from my mouth. It's the weirdest thing.

Incidentally, i have found that pregnancy puking is not NEARLY as bad as flu/illness puking. I don't get that biley, sour taste in my mouth at all, which is the part i hate the most about puking. For a girl who absolutely DETESTS vomiting (i usually cry when i know i'm going to be sick), this really isn't all that bad.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

am i old-fashioned?

So i've noticed a trend whereby pregnant people my age tell the entire world pretty much as soon as they find out they're pregnant. I noticed this when I read a blog of a friend's cousin this week - she's a week behind me and has announced it on her blog.

I don't feel like telling the whole world right now, and i guess i kinda do subscribe to the whole "wait until you're 3 months along" thing. Not really sure why, but I do know that not telling everyone right away has given us more time to adjust to everything before all the well wishes and congrats come flying in from all around.

I don't really buy into the reason that it would be horrible if you miscarried in those 3 months and the whole world knew. Maybe years ago that was the case, but today, i think with the heightened awareness and openness surrounding reproduction, that miscarriages are less "shameful" now. (that's not quite the right word but my brain-on-hormones can't think of the one i'm looking for right now) Of course they're still devastating, and still a huge deal, but just because more people know doesn't mean it's harder (or maybe not even easier) to go through. It's just a different era, where more information is out there. Hey, i know things that i would have never known except via the internet (i.e., friend's cousin is pregnant).

Anyways, all this to say we are going to wait around 3 mos to tell the world; save for IMMEDIATE family (parents, siblings) and a few close friends. But the reasons for us doing so, and the reasons most people do not wait any more, don't really seem rational or logical (or even relevant), especially to this hormone-saturated brain. So why wait? I dunno. Why not tell people now? I dunno. But that's what we're going for.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Thank God for Diclectin

one little pill, 3 times a day.

i am no longer puking, i am now able to eat again.

still don't feel 100% normal, but if this is the new normal, i think i can survive. before this, i was seriously doubting it.

still super tired, though. and kinda crabby.

only worked 1 1/2 days this week, 2 1/2 off sick, and one stat to round out the week. Hopefully monday i'll be able to get back into a routine.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

update

well, things have not gotten better on the feeling sick front - in fact, they're worse.

On the weekend, i got intimately acquainted with arleen's toilet, and now i feel sick every day all day, it's very very hard to eat anything.

i'm going to the clinic this afternoon to hopefully get some drugs to help me feel well enough to eat....it's still 2 weeks 'till my first prenatal appointment, and i definitely cannot wait that long.

more to come later, right now, i'm just trying to survive.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

rollercoaster

(ugh, the thought of being on one of those makes my stomach churn).

Anyways, the past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I'm a bit of a wreck, to be honest.

Of course i'm excited, but i'm also terribly anxious. Not really anxious about having a baby or being a mom, just anxious about getting through the next 8 months (with how i've been feeling, sigh) and also about telling people our news. And anxious about finding a job for January so i actually have some mat leave once i'm off.

I spend most mornings feeling very very anxious and worked up for about the first one to two hours of the day....i'm not sleeping well, can't sleep through tony's alarm anymore, i'm wide awake at 6 am....and then i just lay there, and then my mind starts whirling and my tummy starts churning.

So far i have not puked, or been very close to that at all...but physically, i do feel pretty uncomfortable most of the time. I can only eat a bit at a time, the rest of the time i feel very full, and burpy and there's quite a bit of heartburn involved (yay for tums!!!). And when and where these feelings will appear is completely random, i'll be feeling fine, ravenously hungry, and terribly uncomfortable all within 5 mins. Eating small amounts all the time seems to help, but my appetite is near 0....very few things are appealing to eat. So i'm sticking to bland things like buttered bagels, toast, fruit n vegs. I need to get a prenatal vitamin asap, i can see how i am probably not getting all the nutrients this kid needs (i have been taking folic acid regularly for over 6 mos now, so i'm good on that one, which some say is the most important at this stage anyways).

Emotionally, it's crazy. I have periods of peace interspersed with the aforementioned anxiety. I know i need to Trust, and i'm trying. The Psalms have been especially comforting to me, especially the end of Ps 40, where it says the Lord has me on His mind right now. And i know that this is His timing, we have been praying to that end since before the birth control days. It will just take a bit to adjust to all this, i figure.

I think it will be easier/better when a few more people know (not the whole world). Right now there are only 3 people that know, we will be telling our families and close friends over the next few weeks, then come Christmastime, if all is still well, the whole world can know, and you'll all be reading this 2 months after the fact :)

On a side note, glad i don't have to rely on birth control right now, as my brand is facing a dire shortage in Canada right now.....glad i don't have to worry about that!